4:59 AM I'm very tired. Very exhausted. I don't want to think. Although that doesn't change the fact that I do think.
It doesn't stop haunting me. At all. Today there was a conversation between my bro and Mishiao about this issue. Why is God reminding me in so many ways? Everyday? It's bad enough that He knows I want to just let it go. Yet he always makes opportunities for me to choose my pride, or throw it away. And I threw it away. AGAIN. Please la, let me keep whatever shred of dignity I have left. Seriously. You know I'm proud, yet you always create these temptations to test my principals. And then suddenly, I succumb to it.
I asked to let me let go easily. But you don't make it easy.
Allow me to start accepting la please. Don't give it a loooong absence, and then bring it to remind and haunt me again, to let me start thinking. Just as I was beginning to get used to it, there you go and pull a stunt. God, you are dam evil lo. Are you getting bored up there in Heaven?
At first I was unable to decide. Then I was like, OK, fark this. Then now, I'm back at square one again. Dude, as much as I have faith in You, man you really work in mysterious ways. So mysterious in fact, that sometimes I just want to chop you. Either that or you just really dislike me la. Haha.
Please shoo the Carrot away. Or bring the Carrot back. Either one. You can choose. Just don't like tarik-tarik here and there ok? Playing me like a big fool like that. BOU KANG CHOR AH YOU???
I am going to LOOK FORWARD to Seven this Friday. I am hoping to see Eye Candy there. Ben is right, you never try you never know. Aih. (But you know I'm not gonna try anyway right. And you know why.)
