11:26 PM WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT Persons under 18 years of age (Oh wait, nowadays that's kinda inapplicable), okay okay. Persons whose mentality does not accept that sex is a natural human process/desire/whatever, please DO NOT read on. Yes! My sex drive is back! Forgive me for being delighted over something so totally unimportant. But wait, it is! Okay, I was freaked out. My stress levels were way over the top, and the last few sex events were, well, disappointing, not to mention unsuccessful and tedious. Let's just say I wasn't even close. What's more, I realised that I haven't had any sexual thoughts or urges for a VERY long time. Usually, I never have a problem. So of course I got scared right! A friend actually suggested toys and lubes, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of 'foreign' products coming into contact with my privates. What was wrong with me? But what can I say, IT'S BACK! So I'm normal again. Whee =)
Anyway, as I said, I'm so stressed out to the point that my break outs are freaking unbelievable. I'm talking big, pus-filled boils here, and they're being stubborn and not going away. What's the deal man? I am a pizza-face now.
I'm not recovering as fast as I would like to, well, actually, I don't think I'm recovering at all. I just try not to think about it most of the time. At least the calls have stopped. Haha, actually all communication has ceased. We are both currently non-existent to each other. What was I thinking? I was trying to live out some fantasy, which I knew was impossible, but I still attempted to live it out anyway! Oh my God girl, where are your brains? Must be in your ass. And because of all this, I hate myself and I hate, erm, let's give the name Carrot. Yes, I hate Carrot.
Babe, you don't know how lucky you are. Having someone to love you, whom you love back of course, even if it's so many miles away. I envy you two. At least you guys are giving it a go, even if it's hard, and annoying at times lol. And omg, there really is no one here. Not that I have time la, but still! Some eye candy will be good right! Actually, there are a few la HAHAHA. There's actually one I'm eye-ing, but just eye-ing only! Nothing more. By the way, Vodka called me out a few times, just as a friendly thing la, to his place to chill with his friends and stuff. Well, at least he's more smooth than the Bear la! Bear still messages me, but less now, coz that day (dunno if Ying told you), I kinda answered him in a pissy way HAHAHA! I was so tired and stressed, and I just finished my assignment okay! Still wanna kacau me again, forcing me to go out with him when I already told him I had to go to Uni the next day. Lol, so since then, he messages me alot less now. By the way, you and my bro were right about BigEx, he's still interested in me. Damn, you guys suck wei. Oh oh! And, well I've been talking alot to Ben. No not the Cheong, yes yes THAT Ben. It's quite weird actually. Let's just say that although I know karma is a bitch, sometimes it's just so sweet. But I think he's alot worse off than I am. He really sounds like a sad puppy wei. He's coming back to Melbourne by the way. Well, not much else has been happening in my boring life. What about yours? I miss you babe.
I am actually looking forward to making those gingerbread cookies and cornflake cookies tomorrow.
Why am I acting so free when I'm actually not? Screw it, I still stand by the fact that I NEED a holiday, and the condition of my face tells me so. I am so wanting to take that Eurotrip with Sarah, but if I do, that'll mean I can't start working straight away after graduation. That means what? Bumming in KL for another 6 months to a year? DAMN.
Week 9 is when the devil comes back from a holiday, and Hell decides to have a party. A party that lasts aaaaalll the way till the 18th of June.
Till then, throw me more plasters mate! Coz it's still bleeding...
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
