12:30 AM It sucks being lonely. Getting stuck in between two of your coupled friends in the cinema ain't funny man. Lucky for me the movie was quite entertaining, as entertaining as a blind, old man going "wu-wu-weh-wa-shi-ha-weh". Well, being single has its perks, I suppose. There's no one to tell me what to do or restrict me from doing anything, going anywhere, and no one to answer to. Plus, you can flirt all you want. I really should try to adopt the no-strings-attached way of life. Previously, I have found it pretty difficult, and never understood how people can bring themselves to do it. But they do! And with ease! I should start my training and catch up. I'm the one who's living in 10,000 BC. But I'm not getting any younger so if I don't start now, I'm never gonna get a chance to. But man, I was looking for something serious. But I should just accept that I am never gonna get what I want. Not in this field anyway. So let's just throw the 'serious' out the window and have some fun, eh? After all, I only turn 21 once. And at the rate I'm going, no one's gonna date me seriously anyway HAHA. So, fuck it la.
They say you always learn from your mistakes, as to not repeat them. So if you've gotten your heart broken in the past, chances are you're highly unlikely to experience it again. Even if you do, there would probably be a really big time gap in between them. I'm just the fckin' idiot, that can't wait to die, AGAIN. I was like, "Eh! I'm so proud of myself man I stood up again!", chibai. Now it's like, "Wtf, do this to yourself again, nothing better to do is it?" You know what I need? I need a guy who knows how to love me and give me what I need and want, and at the same time know how to handle me and work his way to get what he wants. A guy with subtle dominance, who can tame me, yet know when to submit to me. Lol, now I just sound like an animal. But in the case that this said guy ever shows up, "HEY, I'M OVER HERE!"
I think it is safe to say that the only man that loves me unconditionally is my father. I think it is also true that some daughters (including myself) set their potential boyfriend candidate standards in accordance to their father's. I think daddy sees it the same way. He'd rather support me my whole adult life than let me marry a man who will never make me happy. Then again, I guess he's just being daddy-like.
I need to be drained of love so I can fall out of it. The weekend is here. People are asking me out. I should go, no? Yes, yes, I should. Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm not breaking any rules, crossing any lines, and most importantly, I'm not obligated to anyone. I'm almost done waiting for you.
Friday, March 7, 2008
